Cook food, play video games, drink beer, and hide from the cold.
This is the epic modern life.
A thousand years from now we won’t have to ever leave our homes. We’ll just work out, masturbate, watch funny videos, and eat freeze dried food grown in giant greenhouses.
Magical fun time, super happy land.
We’ll do before and after workout photos, and our workouts will be 100% efficient and painless. Every exercise will be aided and supervised by robots and supercomputers. You won’t expend 1 calorie that isn’t accounted for building muscle or losing weight.
Your television will read your mind and know what commercials you’ll buy from. It will order your products beforehand, so when your commercial comes on, you can have it instantly.
The world will fold into your lap.
We all have a thousand identities we toy around with. We never know if we’re really being ourselves or if we’re pretending to be someone at work.
Work and ourselves become one unit. We are always working, we are always on our phones, and we are always on the internet. One must never stop working and being on the internet, because if they did, they’d be instantly poor and an idiot.
There is still poverty, because it’s such a great motivator. Nothing scares the shit out of you quite like being poor. Just getting a toothache can mean an infection and then homelessness. Keep working, keep surfing, for God’s sake, stay on your phone!
The future is so hopelessly brilliant and shiny. Everything is electronic, and everything has a plasma. The middle class such great pretty toys to keep them occupied while working their days away.
Everybody looks up to see what the rich people are doing, but nobody ever sees them. There are two rich people left. They control 99.99% of the world’s money. The rest of us just take turns borrowing the .01% from each other on high interest credit cards.
Everybody owns a pit bull, because they’re scared of poor people stealing their electronics. Coincidentally, poor people aren’t scared of anything, except for pit bulls. Apparently, pit bulls can smell desperation.
All libraries are closed, and there is no public transportation. Everyone just walks to work on empty roads built long ago for those ancient things called cars.
Some things haven’t changed.
People in the west still don’t make anything real.
The internet still exists, but it has been broken up into three parts: the “work” internet, the pornography internet, and the pictures of kittens internet. Most people can only afford two internets, and everyone has the kittens internet.
As you can see, the future is a bright place.
As great as the present.
The present is a gift, right?
Where do you get it open at?
